What do Christians actually believe?

We could be talking about the entire Bible here, but that doesn’t make sense. In order to get an impression of what Christians believe, it helps to take a look at the creed that is shared in the service. I myself was often in church services to get to know the Christian faith. And I never could have spoken this creed because I should have lied. The people who pronounce it are likely to believe highly in the contents of the creed.

In the following table I compare my point of view to the Christian creed:

Christians believe thatMy point of view
I believe in God,Until now there was no God because the Creator “true Satan” was evil.
the Father Almighty,The “true Satan” cannot be understood as a father and was also not omnipotent.
the creator of heaven and earth.“True Satan” created the earth and the rest of the universe, but no heaven and no hell (because he’s not omnipotent).
And in Jesus Christ,Christ means more anointed. He was surely anointed by “true Satan”.
his only begotten Son, our Lord,Jesus would probably want to refrain from the fact that he was the only begotten son of “true Satan” and, if necessary, he would also refrain from being called our Lord.
received by the Holy Spirit,The holy spirit did not exist and will only arise through me.
born of the Virgin Mary,It is not likely that the “real Satan” actually fertilized an egg without a sperm.
suffered under Pontius Pilate,The story of his crucifixion will probably be true.
crucified, died and buried,Applicable, yes, yes.
descended into the realm of death,There is no hell (see above).
rose from the dead on the third day,Dead cannot be resurrected. Not even the Creator can do that.
ascended to heaven;There is no heaven.
he sits at the right hand of God,The “true Satan” is an energy that consists of the finest particles, the pixels. He cannot sit and a person cannot find a place in him; not even as a soul, because people have no soul.
the almighty father;The “real Satan” was not the father. This will arise soon.
from there he will comeJesus cannot come again because he died.
to judge the living and the dead.Jesus cannot judge anyone because he is dead. He would also be overwhelmed by judging the living 8 billion. And the dead can no longer be judged.
I believe in the Holy SpiritThe “holy spirit” does not yet exist and I am only allowing it to emerge from the “true Satan” by renaming the spirit. From “Satan” in “Jesus”.
the holy catholic (christian / general) church,It is questionable how holy the church is, considering the many wrongdoings …
Communion of saints,They may exist on earth, but there is no heaven.
Forgiveness of sins,We should not attach importance to the forgiveness of sins by the “true Satan”,
Resurrection of the deadThe dead cannot rise.
and eternal life.There is possibly the shutdown of aging, which can be genetically caused, but human life will always remain limited by a) accidents or b) the end of a planet and its star (sun).
Amen.Amen means “verily”. How can you say amen to this in the 21st century?
Apostolic Creed (ecumenical version)

What do you think? Can you speak the Creed with full conviction and say “Amen”? Or do you have any doubts? Let’s get into a dialogue in the comments …

Photo by Edward Cisneros on Unsplash

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